The raging autowalas of Noida

One should make a will before doing something as dreadful as taking a ride in six seater auto,only if he is not a broke like me. First things first, calling it a six seater auto would perhaps be offending to its gruesome sensibilities, considering what it usually has to go through. It is often crammed with more than 10 people: 8 people in the middle(4-4 are stacked in two rows where it should be  3-3 against each other) , 2-3 people along with the driver’s seat and a 10-15 year old child as a trainee conductor who could be found swinging anywhere, like a snake hanging from a  tree.

 When such a vehicle is filled to capacity, the pressure thus created, calms down its undue hysterical quivering but the terrible noise blows like a sledge hammer in your eardrums, you can feel the shakes even after alighting the vehicle. This cacophony reminds me of noise we used to bear while watching “maut ka kuan” in Durga puja fairs and only difference is, then we were mere spectators and now we are unwilling participants running the risk. It’s not very often you will regret the bigger hips of your co passenger, forcing you to discover the real pressure or pleasure of being compressed, shrinking you to your minimum. When stacked like this, mostly you will have your head to react like dropping your jaws or widening your eyes, owing to the thrill (for sallu fans) or fear( for lames like me) which you will have to bear through the journey as rest of the body will be stuck somewhere else. However, body movements are subject to the whims of the driver like abrupt changing of lanes ,brakes are seldom applied but when applied they will make the whole troupe to dangle. It’s like being choreographed for a group dance. They certainly have the makings of a desi Jason statham who will fight all odds, bend every rule to deliver the package. Adding one more dimension, I would rather say they are the artist making invisible sketches on the road. I wonder how this has escaped the ever watchful eyes of  AXN people.

And God forbid , if you are unfortunately sitting to the right of driver, you will have your closest moments as half of your body will be suspended in the air, which leaves you on the mercy of drivers of other vehicles( who have been pretty generous in their deadly endeavours) .It certainly leaves you a little too high when a speeding DTC bus closes in with a sudden gush of air and misses you by inches, sending chills down your spine. You will see Yamraj swinging from the bus, lending you a helping hand and asking you “come on buddy, let’s have a walk in hell”.

Having said all that, I must admit that I avail their services almost on daily basis. So I hold nothing personal against them. It was just one of those days when they overdo their bit and I come home brimming with emotions and I wriggle it out through my words to attain normalcy.